15 Things That Really Piss Me Off
Hello everyone. If I had to describe my personality I would say I’m a pleasant, cheerful person. However I must admit (and Mr A would most definitely agree) that the older I get the more short-tempered I can be. There are certain things in modern life that are guaranteed to make me quite ragey. Obviously some of these things are to do with the state of the world atm, Brexit, Trump etc but others are little things that are possibly specific just to me. So for your entertainment this week I’m going to tell you what they are, and see if you agree with me.
1) People who stand in the middle of supermarket aisles
Those people who use the supermarket as a convenient place to meet friends and catch up with the local gossip are all shades of wrong. It wouldn’t be so bad if it was just them in the way, I would simply ram them out of the way with my trolley. However they also tend to abandon their own trolleys in the middle of the aisle. Making it totally impossible for anyone to get past until their gossip time is up.
Thus whole shop become gridlocked because Betty at number 5 was making eyes at the milkman again.
2) Music stations that only play the short version of Bat Outta Hell
The short version of Bat Out of Hell should never have been created. I know the argument is that songs that are over 4 minutes long don’t make good radio songs, so its better for them to be shortened than never played at all. And for certain songs I agree. It’s not necessary to play the full 2 1/2 hour guitar solo in the middle of Freebird.
However the legend that is Meatloaf is a gifted story-teller, and Bat out Of Hell is one of his most iconic stories. You can’t simply chop off the ending of a story and expect people to be okay with this. If he doesn’t drive of the road and die the song ain’t over.
3) Seeing X is Typing, But Never Getting A Reply
You know the scene, you’re chatting to someone online and the little dots start bobbing up and down. So you sit eagerly awaiting their reply, but it never materialises.
Why does that happen? Did the computer get it wrong? did they start to write but then change their mind? were they kidnapped halfway through their reply? I need to know.
4) People Who Don’t Repeat Themselves
This complaint might be a bit personal to me, but I’m sure fellow deaf people will also agree it’s really annoying.
The folks committing this offense are not bad people on the whole, they just lack understanding when it comes to talking to people who are a bit deaf.
The problem sometimes occurs on the phone and sometimes face to face. What happens is the speaker says something, but the listener didn’t properly hear and asks the speaker to repeat it. But rather than doing that the speaker says ‘oh it doesn’t matter’.
Well quite frankly that’s not good enough. If someone begins a conversation it is their responsibility to ensure the conversation comes to its natural conclusion and is not cut short. I don’t care if it doesn’t matter to you. I don’t care if it was the most mundane boring sentence you’ve ever uttered. JUST TELL ME WHAT YOU BLOODY SAID!!
5) Facebook posts that tell you ‘you’ve been doing this wrong all your life’.
These posts turn up regularly on my timeline. Everything from washing your hair to eating fruit. Well simply put they can fuck off with their criticism. I’m 45 years old and the way I do shit works perfectly well for me.
6) People with locked accounts in twitter threads
Sometimes it’s necessary for people to lock their accounts, to protect from trolls or nasty people spying on them. However when such people become a part of a group thread as me, it can becomes a tad annoying. Seeing people replying to unseen tweets is frustrating.
This is also true when bastards who have blocked me then turn up in group threads (the fact that they’ve blocked me is bad enough, I mean I’m bloody delightful, everyone should want to chat with me).
7) People who don’t understand basic queueing etiquette.
Queues are a very British thing, but are quite simple to understand. The person who gets to the queue location first goes to the front of the queue and gets to do the thing first. The person who gets there last goes to the back of the queue and does the thing last.
However lots of people these days seem to lack manners when queueing. Two groups in particular boil my piss. The first are teenagers at bus stops. These offending critters sit nice and warm in mummies car waiting for the bus, then try to push in front of the poor folk who have appropriately queued in the cold as soon as the bus pulls up. Well I’m telling you no little teenager, you will not pass. Go to the back and wait your turn.
The second group of queue criminals are tall people in pubs. They think because they’re not vertically challenged they have the right to lean over my head to order their drink first. As well as showing a basic lack of queue etiquette this behaviour is sizist and must stop.
8) Hormonal spots.
I’m 45 years old (I may have already mentioned that) so it’s totally unfair that I still have to put up with zits every month.
9) Cauliflower Recipes
I like cauliflower, it’s a very pleasant vegetable to find on your plate, even more so when it’s served properly with lashings of cheese sauce covering it.
What I can’t stand is the way it’s now being used as an alternative for everything carb based in cooking. Cauliflower rice and even worse cauliflower based pizza, No! This is wrong and should be outlawed. Cauliflower will never make a decent pizza base and nor should it.
There is a cauliflower crime that is worse than carb appropriation though. The use of cauliflower as a meat substitute. In recent weeks I’ve seen cauliflower steaks and even a cauliflower Wellington (basically a whole cauliflower wrapped in pastry and baked). What are these people thinking? How can you possibly compare a slice of naked cauliflower to a lovely bloody steak or chunk of beef?
I beg of these cauliflower criminals to defer to the wisdom of their elders and go back to using of cauliflower in the one and only cheesy recipe for which it was originally intended.
10) Anyone over 30 who uses Snapchat filters.
If I was being really strict I would ban the use of Snapchat for anyone over the age of 30. Past that age you stop being young, hip, trendy or whatever the apropriate word is any more. I think it’s better for people to accept this fact with grace and dignity than to try to keep up with the youth of today. But in reality what people get up to in their private lives is none of my business.
It becomes my business however when said adults start posting photos of themselves sporting bunny ears and puppy dog noses. Why? What do you hope to achieve?? The culprits of these filter crimes will no doubt argue that it looks cute and hurts no one. This may be true, but it still makes me roll my eyes so hard it hurts every time I see such a picture.
11) Jeremy Kyle
I seriously worry about the wellbeing of anyone who enjoys watching any program with him in it. Just the sight of him makes me want to throw things at the telly.
I have heard people say that his methods might be a bit crude but he gets people to where they need to be. I would argue that if you kicked a dog with a broken leg all the way to the vets it would get to where it needed to be, but no one in their right mind would ever do it.
Snow is cold. It’s wet and makes walking very dangerous. I hate snow with a passion.
13) Films that change details of books
I love reading books. They have the power to transport you to a different time or place where anything is possible. I understand that when books are transformed into films there are sometimes changes than need to be made to help the visual of the film.
However what I can’t accept is the blatant changing of things that go against the whole grain of the book. Or the addition of things that never happened in the book just because it looks good.
One of the worst offenders for this in recent times is the Harry Potter films. In the books the wizarding world is secret and great pains are taken to ensure non magical people don’t find out. So why does Harry and Co go belting down the Themes on their broomsticks in full view of a boat full of people.
And the scene where they burn down the Weasleys house. The house is all wrong, the location of the house is wrong and the whole attack never bloody happened!!
14) Menus that lie
It’s no secret that I like food. So anything that involves bad food is going to make me a bit ragey.
What I mean by menus lying is when food establishments serve items that are not in any way what you would expect given the wording on the menu. I will give a couple of examples to properly explain what I mean.
Back in the summer Mr A and I went for our weekly shopping trip. During a coffee/beer break I spotted a sign that said ‘Todays Special, Eton Mess’. Now I love Eton Mess, a simple yet tasty pud. Well you would think it was simple, with just 3 ingredients (summer fruits, whipped cream and crushed meringue) what could go wrong. Well what I was served was strawberry ice cream with a sprinkle of meringue and half a strawberry on top. It wasn’t even nice strawberry ice cream.
Fast forward a few months to another shopping trip. On this occasion I was already getting a bit hangry so we decided to go for lunch. I chose a cheese ploughman’s. Another simple dish right? Crusty bread, salad, cheese and some pickles. What I was served was a bowl of limp lettuce leaves with a few shavings of cheese on top. It didn’t even qualify as a salad. I have to admit I became proper ragey and stropped out the cafe leaving Mr A to get and apology for such a shit meal and our money back.
15) Delete this if it’s not allowed.
I happen to be an admin on a couple of Facebook groups, and a member of a lot more. And regardless of the nature of the group, blogging, steampunk, crochet or general crafts this is something that pops up in a lot of posts.
The people who add this sentence to the beginning of their posts may think they’re being considerate. But in my opinion what they’re really saying is they’re too busy to bother reading the rules, or to make sure their post abides by the rules. Or even that they don’t actually give two hoots about the rules of the group. Whatever the reason it gives hard working admin extra work to do to. If in doubt people should message the groups admin and ask.
So these are the little things in life that make me most ragey. Would you add anything to my list? Are there things on their that you do?
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