Paradise By The Laptop Light -an ode to Twitter dating.

Hello everyone. I love Twitter, this is not a big secret. I love meeting and getting to know people from all over the world. Now obviously as a very happily married lady, my interest in other people only extends as far as friendship, but Twitter is somewhere you can meet people for romance too.

I have several Twitter friends who have met their significant others on the site, two of whom are now married to them.

However Twitter dating isn’t always a successful endeavour, and when it goes wrong it can do so spectacularly.

The following parody is a lighthearted tale of a Twitter dating disaster.

Paradise By The Laptop Light – an ode to Twitter dating. (To the tune of Paradise By The Dashboard Light by Meatloaf)

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[Boy:]

Well I remember reading her first tweet,
Like it was posted only yesterday.
Scheduled posts and adverts,
Were the only other tweets that night.

So I thought I’d send a GIF
Have a bit of banter online yeah.
She started tweeting back.
Oh, the whole thing started up that night.

And now she’s started to say  I’m Mr Right.
I’m not so sure ’bout that,
I always said not quite.
But she tweets like I’m her lover and the love of her life.
Tweets like I’m her lover, and the love of her life.

C’mon, it feels wrong.

C’mon, it feels wrong.

Though it’s cold and lonely on the net at night.
This is not paradise by the laptop light.

[Girl:]
Ain’t no doubt about it we are doubly blessed.
‘Cause were a blogging couple now,
although we’ve never met.

[Both:]
Ain’t no doubt about it.
Baby, gotta go out and shout it.
Ain’t no doubt about it,
We are doubly blessed.

[Boy:]
‘Cause we’re a blogging couple now,
although we’ve never met.

[Boy:]
Baby, I don’t like your posts,
I see you’re writing soppy shit again.
I get  grumpy these days,
’cause all you  tweet about is hearts and love.
And I gotta let you know,
Yes, I like you when were online now.
So you can trust your eyes.
I’ll never tell you lies.
It’ll treat you right.
But romance shit makes me wanna run.

And now she’s started to say  I’m Mr Right.
I’m not so sure bout that,
I always said not quite.
But she tweets like I’m her lover, and the love of her life.
Tweets like I’m her lover, and the love of her life.

C’mon, it feels wrong.
C’mon, it feels wrong.

[Both:]
Though it’s cold and lonely on the net at night.
This is not paradise by the laptop light.

Though it’s cold and lonely on the net at night.
Paradise by the laptop light.

[Girl:]
I gotta blog all about it,
and let other bloggers know the news.
Ain’t no doubt about it,
We are doubly blessed.
‘Cause were a blogging couple now,
Although we’ve never met.

[4x]
We’re gonna go all the way tonight.
We’re gonna go on a date.
Yeah, tonight’s the night.

[Girl:]

STOP RIGHT THERE!
I gotta tell you now before we go any further
When we’re Skyping,
feels like we are together.
When I’m blogging,
you’re my whimsical lover.
I can blog about us,
For the rest of my days.
My blog stats will rise.
This relationship pays.

When we’re Skyping,
feels like were really together.
When im blogging,
you’re my whimsical lover.
I can blog about us,
For the rest of my days.
My blog stats will rise.
This relationship pays.

I gotta tell you now!
Because we’ve Skype chatted weekly,
We’ve been dating.
We’re a couple already.

[Boy:]
This is just a date.
Baby, baby, this is just a date.
This is just a date.
I’ll tell you my feelings in the morning.

This is just a date.
Baby, baby, this is just a date.
This is just a date.
I’ll tell you my feelings in the morning.

This is just a date.
Baby, baby, this is just a date.
This is just a date.
I’ll tell you my feelings in the morning.

[Girl:]
I gotta tell you now!
When were Skyping,
feels like we are together.
When im blogging,
you’re my whimsical lover.
I can blog about us,
For the rest of my days.
My blog stats will rise.
This relationship pays.

I gotta tell you now,
‘Cause we’ve Skype chatted weekly.
We’ve been dating.
We’re a couple already.

So do you agree, boy?
Come on, I can tweet all night.
So do you agree, boy?
Yes or no?
So do you agree, boy?
Yes or no?

[Boy:]
This is just a date.
Baby, baby, this is just a date.
This is just a date.
I’ll tell you my feelings in the morning.

[Girl:]                                                           [Boy:]
I gotta tell you now!                                  This is just a date.
When were skyping,                                 Baby baby this is just a date
feels like were really together.                This is just a date.
When im blogging,                                   I’ll tell you my feelings in the
you’re my whimsical lover.                     morning.
I can blog about us,
for the rest of my days.
My blog stats will rise.
This relationship pays.

[Girl:]
I gotta tell you now,
‘Cause weve skype chatted weekly.
Weve been dating.
Were a couple already.

[Boy:]
This is just a date.

[Girl:]
We’ve a couple already.

[Boy:]
This is just a date.

[Girl:]
We’ve a couple already.

[Boy:]
I couldn’t take it any longer.
Lord I was crazed.
I should have got into my car,
I should have drove away.
Oh, but I went back to her room.
And we began to play.
Now I’ll regret it to the end of time.
Oh yeah, I’ll regret it the end of time.

Oh man this twitter dating’s really hard.
I’ve messed up bad in my time.
But now I’ve met a girl who I truly adore.
And I really gotta make her mine.
I wont forget the other,
or unfriend her now.
But all of my tweets are for my new love now.
I’m tweeting her ‘I love you’
It’s all I can do (ooh, ooh)
I’m tweeting her ‘I love you’,
Until she says she loves me too.

[Boy:]
Not so long ago, but it was far away,
Gotta new girl now who I love today.

[Girl:]
It never felt so good,
Your my Mr Right.
Yeah I tweet you like my lover and the love of my life.

If there are any subjects you think I should tackle in a parody, or tunes you would love to see rewritten please let me know.

Scientific Fact* Anxious Dragons feed on blog comments. Please help keep this dragon well fed. Thank you Xxxx

*Possibly not true

The Pramshed

34 Comments

  1. Martyn Kitney

    March 5, 2017 at 7:52 pm

    Hahaha this is brilliant!! I love it! I know several people who this could relate to!

    1. Hooks and Dragons

      March 5, 2017 at 7:57 pm

      Oh I dont know….im sure its a totally made up story……. πŸ˜†πŸ˜†πŸ˜‚

  2. Picking Up Toys

    March 5, 2017 at 8:11 pm

    This is absolutely brilliant.I was singing it all the way through.Cracking πŸ˜€ x

    1. Hooks and Dragons

      March 5, 2017 at 8:13 pm

      Thank you. My hubby thinks I’m nuts singing along to my laptop with the wrong words πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚

  3. franbackwithabump

    March 6, 2017 at 7:19 am

    This made me laugh! Thanks for joining for #marvmondays

  4. Donna

    March 6, 2017 at 8:08 am

    awww poor twitter daters!! #marvmondays

    1. Hooks and Dragons

      March 6, 2017 at 8:22 am

      I think they all got over it πŸ˜†πŸ˜†

      1. Donna

        March 6, 2017 at 8:28 am

        Haha well at least there is that! I’ve never known anyone date in twitter

  5. amumfullofdreams

    March 6, 2017 at 9:32 am

    I can’t decide who’s side I’m on! #bigpinklink

    1. Hooks and Dragons

      March 6, 2017 at 9:47 am

      Ah, there is not necessarily any right or wrong sides 😊

  6. pinkpearbear

    March 6, 2017 at 11:43 am

    I don’t think I know anyone that got together via twitter. I suppose I don’t think of it being used in that way so it’s not on my radar. Thanks for being part of the #bigpinklink

    1. Hooks and Dragons

      March 6, 2017 at 12:06 pm

      I dont think people set out to use it as a dating site, but these connections get made xx

  7. Katrina

    March 6, 2017 at 12:09 pm

    Oh my gosh that is too funny! And Twitter for a dating site? Really? I can’t see it. I think Pinterest we be a better platform for a dating service. LOL — #marvmondays

    1. Hooks and Dragons

      March 6, 2017 at 12:18 pm

      Its not a very good dating site πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚

  8. Coombe Mill

    March 6, 2017 at 1:06 pm

    Very funny! the lyrics are priceless, sadly I feel I spend less time on twitter these days, conversations appears to have walked elsewhere #marvmondays

    1. Hooks and Dragons

      March 6, 2017 at 1:09 pm

      I try to keep the number of people I follow on twitter down to under 200 and only follow people who actually chat rather than just promote xx

  9. Sarah Howe

    March 6, 2017 at 3:50 pm

    Haha this is fab!! I wish I had more time for Twitter!! The rest just suck away all my time xx #mravmondays

    1. Hooks and Dragons

      March 6, 2017 at 4:25 pm

      Twitter sucks all my time away πŸ˜† (I argue that I need to network to get crochet orders 😁😁)

  10. Susie / S.H.I.T.

    March 6, 2017 at 5:06 pm

    This is great – very clever. I wish I had more time for Twitter but once I’m on, I can’t get off. I didn’t know people date on Twitter – that’s a new one for me. #marvmondays

    1. Hooks and Dragons

      March 6, 2017 at 5:07 pm

      Its not a conventional way to meet your life partner, but it can work 😊

  11. Liane

    March 6, 2017 at 5:08 pm

    Twitter is used for dating now! I am so behind with the times haha! #MarvMondays

    1. Hooks and Dragons

      March 6, 2017 at 5:15 pm

      By a small number of people 😊

  12. Helen

    March 7, 2017 at 6:14 am

    Wow! What talent! Thanks for sharing at Twinkly Tuesday!

    1. Hooks and Dragons

      March 7, 2017 at 8:05 am

      Thank you x

  13. Kerry

    March 7, 2017 at 7:21 am

    I was seriously trying to remember the tune of this song but could only sing the chorus! Haha well done you, this is brilliant…and Meatloaf songs are notoriously long too! #TwinklyTuesday

  14. jeremy@thirstydaddy

    March 7, 2017 at 3:10 pm

    If my wife ever wises up and leaves me, I’m done for. #bigpinklink

    1. Hooks and Dragons

      March 7, 2017 at 3:16 pm

      Better be careful then πŸ˜†πŸ˜†

  15. mummascribbles

    March 8, 2017 at 12:35 pm

    Very funny. I’ve heard of people getting together on twitter! A whole new level of Internet dating! Thanks for linking up with #TwinklyTuesday

  16. Kiri

    March 8, 2017 at 8:19 pm

    This is brilliant – very funny! Although now I won’t be able to get that tune out of my head! #twinklytuesday

    1. Hooks and Dragons

      March 8, 2017 at 8:23 pm

      Ha, its been my earworm for the past week πŸ˜†

  17. Rhyming with Wine

    March 19, 2017 at 7:17 pm

    Amazing! You have done Mr loaf proud with this Mrs A! It shall be stuck in my head all night now! πŸ™‚ x

    1. Hooks and Dragons

      March 19, 2017 at 7:19 pm

      Thank you my dear. I have to admit 3 weeks later and its still my earworm

  18. Michelle Kellogg

    June 19, 2017 at 1:47 pm

    Oh My God that is hilarious! I only met one person who tried to date me on twitter and I blocked him real quick, lol! I don’t play that game. The problem with online dating for me is that I don’t trust people. I can’t. I just can’t. However, the guy I’m dating now, I did meet through xbox onlin so its the same thing but I also took my time to get to know him as a person. Most people don’t do that anymore. Everyone is in such a hurry to be committed but most of the time they don’t know what they’re committing to. This parody reminds me of that. It boggles my mind

    1. hooks_and_dragons

      June 19, 2017 at 1:59 pm

      I actually met Mr A on an online dating site, but I really did meet a lot of weirdos and fuckboys before I got to a decent bloke. I think it needs to be approached with a level of common sense and pragmatism xx

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