Special Friends

Hello everyone, today I want to tell you about some of my special friends…… no, not those sort of special friends, that would be a COMPLETELY different sort of blog…. this is about the friends that make up your support network, the family that you get to choose…….


What is a friend?

Now that my strike you as an odd question, because everyone knows what a friend is right??… but actually I think people have very different opinions and expectations about what a friend might be. I will give you an example to show what I mean…..

My baby boy has a facebook account with 400 odd friends, and I only have 70 odd friends. So is my boy wildly more popular that his mummy? well no… I could easily have more facebook friends if I wanted, but I have different criteria for who I class as a friend than my boys does. Many people that he considers to be friends, I would call acquaintances. and neither of us is right or wrong, we just have different ways of looking at it.

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What is my criteria for a friend?

Well I think the quote says it quite well. I have a very small select group of good friends, most of whom I do not talk on a daily basis, or even a weekly basis ( I have never been a friend who enjoys living in another persons pocket, and likewise do not chose friends who need constant attention….).

But what makes us special friends is our ability to pick up our friendship exactly where we left it after weeks, or even months without speaking,  and equally importantly is the knowledge that if I need them at 3am in the morning for any emergency then they would be there.

Now you may have spotted that I have used ‘talk’ and ‘speak’ rather than ‘see’ and this is because not all my Friends are people I live close enough to in order to be able to visit in person.

So let me introduce my friends…..

Now the first friends I would like to say you to meet is one of my oldest friends, and fellow twitter queen miss @ForestFlower23. Now we became friends when we were still at school some *ahem* years ago. We were both newbies to our school, me moving to the forest from Kent and Anthea from  Luton some 6 months or so before me. So obviously as new girls, we were tamed up as the ones who  come from the same place (foresters are not generally known for their geography skills, we came from the other side of the country dispite the 100 or so miles between the two places, and that was close enough for them)… and you know what? it didn’t matter, we got on fabulously from day one. Anthea was ( and still is) far cooler than me, but we clicked, same humour, same taste in music…..

Our favourite Saturday pastimes included making soup in her kitchen listening to Adam Ant and Duran Duran. Now fast forward a few years, and I had met and married my now ex. He did not like any of my friends, and slowly because of him, they drifted away.

However about 4 years ago through the miracle that is social media me and Anthea got back in touch, and I am truly grateful for this. After some 12 years without speaking we picked up like it had only been weeks, a sign of a true best friend.

Now I have several other close friends I could introduce you to. I met them  through work, and  they are now members of my bestest friends family. To list them all and how we met would bore you I’m sure.

Needless to say they are all special, wacky sense of humour, honest, caring, wonderful people who have supported me through some very difficult times these past few years… they know who they are and they know I love them.

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My last group of friends who I want you to say hello to are a somewhat controversial group, not of course as individual people, but because they are ‘internet’ friends.  Now I am guessing that as readers of this blog, you are probably among the group of society who have embraced the social media explosion, but many people still fear it, as a dark destroyer of minds, social morals, the art of writing, conversations, and even the rain forests ( OK, I may have made that last one up, but you get my  drift).

I have been told by countless people that Internet friends are not ‘proper’ friends. This is a very narrow mined opinion I believe for two reasons… firstly what is a ‘proper friend’? Is someone you speak to on a daily basis online less of a friend than the person you stand next to and have a brief chat with a few times a week in the bus queue??

Secondly, nobody has the right to decide weather a person is my friend except me. So there are my facebook friends who I have never met, but I consider to be real, good friends. We all have an interest in psychology, as Open University students this is how we became friends. But we have more in common than that, and it is these things that make us friends.

And last but by no means last my twitter friends. This group of people are probably the people I chat to  the most, usually on a daily basis and yet most of them do not even know my real name.

What we have in common is a shared understanding of issues such as depression, stress and anxiety. These people recognise the things I struggle through and are the ones I turn to when I’m having a bad day. Between us we have built up a friendships support network that are very bit as real as those I have with real life people.

So there you are, my special friends.  I would love to know what you think about what makes a good friend, and your opinions about social media and online friends?

As always I would love to know what you think about my post, so please make me smile by adding a comment or two Xx

18 Comments

  1. Kate @ The Teen Aspect

    July 13, 2015 at 8:33 pm

    I believe that I have too many Facebook friends, most of which I would consider ‘acquaintances’. In fact, I’d fail to name more than ten people who I will regularly speak to; I’m definitely one for smaller friendship groups.

    A lovely post, may I add!

    1. Dragon Stuff

      July 13, 2015 at 9:07 pm

      Thank you.

  2. ForestFlower

    July 15, 2015 at 11:06 am

    awwwwww we truly are BFF!!!
    (ps – disagree on the cool thing though – you have amazing tattoos which are just too cool! I am way to wussy for tattoos – i nearly fainted when I had my nose pierced!)

    1. ForestFlower

      July 15, 2015 at 11:10 am

      pps I’m from Luton not Milton Keynes (although I did spend a lot of time there coz family lived there so I can understand why you remembered it that way) but I forgive you 😉 As far as everyone in the forest is concerned we were both Londoners anyway lol!

      1. Dragon Stuff

        July 15, 2015 at 11:12 am

        Opps, I shall go and ammend that now (blaming old age for that one)

    2. Dragon Stuff

      July 15, 2015 at 11:09 am

      Aw thank you my dear xx

  3. Jill C.

    August 10, 2015 at 7:27 am

    A good friend is someone who is able to accept, forgive, and even like, my being myself. Difficult, sometimes, to appreciate their perception, when being mildly socially phobic.

    1. The Anxious Dragon

      August 10, 2015 at 8:23 am

      I agree with you. I find it hard sometimes to understand why my friends like me when im having a bad spell (depression), but we just have to trust their judgement xx

  4. Rebecca @ AAUBlog

    August 24, 2015 at 12:13 pm

    Friends of any variety are so important, online or not. I think it is easier to make friends online these days anyway #snotallaboutyou

  5. Michelle Kellogg

    August 21, 2017 at 4:05 pm

    Most of the people on my Facebook are old classmates and family and there are only a few that I actually talk to. I’m very picky about who I call friend. I consider people friends who I have a “soultribe” kind of vibe with. We don’t talk every day. Sometimes we don’t talk for weeks but when we do it’s like not a single day has gone by. I will say I have met several people online that I really like and call friend (you are one of them) but that’s because I’ve gotten to know them on a more personal level in private messages and such. For the most part though I take the term friend very seriously and don’t hand that title to just anyone. I like your philosophy on this though Tracey! I like hearing these things from other people’s perspectives:) #mondaystumble

  6. Chloe

    August 21, 2017 at 5:43 pm

    Hi, friends can come from a variety of sources in life be it school, college, work other friends or on line. They say variety is the spice of life and this is true with friends where ever you meet as they can offer different things and support. I personally believe though you only have a few close friends that no matter what they will always be there for you #mondaystumble

  7. Sarah MumofThree World

    August 22, 2017 at 6:12 am

    How lovely that you got back together with your friend after so long!
    I totally agree that online friends are real friends! I talk to my Twitter friends daily and tell them things I wouldn’t tell anyone else (via DM rather than for everyone else to read). Like you, I have never lived in friends’ pockets, but have a handful of people I can catch up with after months or even a couple of years apart.

  8. Susan Mann

    August 22, 2017 at 11:36 am

    That is lovely you go back so far as friends. My best friend I’ve known since I was 2. Online friends are the best, they are ones that you have in common with and can speak to them whenever you can. It is interesting xx #mondaystumble

  9. Pickinguptoys

    August 22, 2017 at 2:32 pm

    Ooh I’d like to think I’m one of these now!Universe seems to be conspiring against us meeting up but we’ll get there soon I’m sure!

    1. hooks_and_dragons

      August 22, 2017 at 2:33 pm

      Oh yes, youre in the friendzone 😁

  10. Lisa Pomerantz

    August 22, 2017 at 11:52 pm

    I am literally tickled pink with the number of friends I have made since joining the blogosphere! We may never see each other, have a coffee, or have a playdate with the littles, but we sure do know and care for each other in ways that I count as true friends. Lovely post! M’wah! #mondaystumble xo

  11. Oldhouseintheshires

    August 23, 2017 at 8:51 am

    I have very few true lifelong friends as I’m quite happy in my own space. I would say I can count friends that I’m in contact with daily on one hand. On the other hand (sorry, no pun intended!) I have many Facebook friends most of who are work friends or old classmates etc. I am loving meeting new blogging friends. Who knew such kindness over the internet! Lovely space and thank you for helping me with getting Stumble on my blog! I can’t believe how many views I have had from it! #mondaystumble

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