Why I Don’t Want To Be Happy All The Time

Hello everyone, today I want to talk about happiness. The subject came to mind the other day after I posted a random meme on twitter. This is what I shared.

For me the choice was simple, if I could eat without getting fat and have a big pile of money life would be bloody brilliant.

I thought my choices would be popular with other people, but was surprised to find number 8 was by far the favourite. Why were you surprised? I hear you ask. Well, despite being a fairly happy person most of the time (stop sniggering there, I do try) I personally wouldn’t want to feel happy all the time, and this is why.

If you’re happy in the face of your own misfortune you must be a bit weird!

This was my first thought when I saw the options in the meme. Generally speaking if people are worried, sad, angry or scared it’s because there is something making them that way.

I’m all for putting on a brave front in the face of adversary. However if someone is genuine happy despite facing the prospect of losing a job or their home or any number of other common worries people have these days then their grip on reality should be questioned.

People who are happy and unconcerned in these situations generally have a head-in-the-sand approach to life. In the short term they may cling onto happiness, but avoiding dealing with situations can lead to worse consequences down the line.

Being happy in the face of others sadness is a bit selfish

While chatting to my lovely twitter friends about their choices for the meme, several said hypothetically if they took the happy pill surely nothing bad would happen to them any more. This would be very cool of course, and would take away the worry of being a weirdo whose happy during their own misfortune.

However bad things happen to other people too. We see on the news all the time about illness, poverty, terrorism, war and other suffering. Most often these things happen to strangers in places we may never visit. When I see these things on the news it makes me sad. Sometimes the sadness affects me so much I have to turn off. But even though I sometimes wish I didn’t feel quite so much sadness for the suffering of others, I wouldn’t wish not to feel it at all.

There are of course many people in the world who’s only concern is about themselves. If they even see the suffering of others they are unmoved by it. I use to be married to someone like that. He believed charity started at home and mocked me for caring about people who I couldn’t help. He said no one benefitted from my feeling sad, so why even bother. There maybe some sense in what he said, but people like him are selfish individuals  and I would take my occasional sadness over their coldness any time.

Being happy in the face of injustice is a bit lazy

When we think of not being happy the first emotion that comes to mind is usually sadness. However there are plenty of other feelings that qualify for the not happy spot, including anger.

I think anger can be a very maligned, underappreciated emotion. When you think of anger its easy to picture mindless, violent thugs rampaging on the streets. But anger is an emotion that has a lot of energy behind it, and when directed properly that energy can be put to good use.

It’s anger at social injustices that energize people into taking action to change situations. Martin Luther King and Nelson Mandela were angry about the treatment of black people. The suffragettes were bloody furious at the lack of votes for women. I may not personally go on protest marches, but my anger at injustices I see prompt me to support those that do. If I felt happiness instead of anger I wouldn’t be moved to act in support of people who want to improve bad situations.

 

Being happy all the time is a bit wrong

All of the arguments I’ve put above are very valid, but even if we lived in a perfect world where it was really okay to be happy all the time, I still wouldn’t want to. That may sound very odd, but hear me out.

I live life with two very unwanted companions, anxiety and depression, and often that can be shit. They can often stop me enjoying things that should make me happy, so you might think I would gladly exchange them for eternal happiness.

But the thing is the days when I do feel happy are glorious things. It fills my heart in a way that’s hard to put into words.  If I felt happy every day, I very much doubt I would treasure and value the feeling as much as I do. I think you need the lows before you can properly appreciate the highs. I would never want happiness to be something I took for granted.

What do you think? If you had the chance would you chose to be eternally happy?

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Thank you, Mrs A Xx

19 Comments

  1. chickenruby

    May 1, 2019 at 9:01 am

    I’d take pills 1 and 4. It’s difficult to judge happiness. I can’t be happy while I’m living abroad. I mean I’m not miserable or depressed, but it’s not where my family and friends are and all the money in the world won’t change that, however we’re earning enough money so when we do come home we can live a relatively stress free lifestyle. I’ve lost a bit of weight recently due to ill health and I’d rather maintain this weight without watching what I eat for the rest of my life. Also I would love to look 15 years younger, not now, but in 15 years time if you get what I mean lol #alittlebitofeverything

  2. Michelle K

    May 1, 2019 at 3:38 am

    I do love the last thing you said about being happy all the time might lead to under-appreciation for happiness. The other emotions are just as important as happiness. We are human beings with all sorts of emotions running through us so yeah, being happy all the time would feel, to me, a bit wrong. #ABitofEverything

  3. Tracey Carr

    April 29, 2019 at 9:51 pm

    I definitely agree with you, I wouldn’t want to be happy all of the time. If I was always happy I would never write anything down! I honestly wouldn’t be stirred enough inside to want to write about anything. I would much prefer to have a balance of emotions. When I read the list I chose number 4 and number 9. I was tempted by the height increase but 5cm isn’t enough for me to make it worthwhile! #abitofeverything

  4. twicemicrowavedtea

    April 29, 2019 at 8:26 pm

    I’d definitely pick the same pills as you (as I sit here eating left over cake!). I don’t think I’d want to be happy all the time either. I think you need to be able to feel a whole range of emotions, and surely you need some sad moments to be able to appreciate the happier ones. #abitofeverything

  5. Picking Up Toys

    April 29, 2019 at 11:35 am

    It would be a bit weird to constantly be happy wouldn’t it! Having emotions is what makes us human and we all feel things in different ways. #abitofeverything

  6. Sustainable Responsible Living

    April 25, 2019 at 8:32 pm

    Great post that! I think it’s so important to embrace all the shade also, not just the sunny times. Probably not easy for young ones who may see all those perfect lives on social media all the time but nobody is always upbeat! #abitofeverything

    1. Tracey Abrahams

      April 26, 2019 at 2:27 pm

      There is a big push for people to chase happiness these days, which is hard for people I agree.

  7. MrsCraft

    April 24, 2019 at 11:31 pm

    Ooh that’s a tricky one, but for me the lows make me appreciate the highs. Now if someone offered a way to get rif of unnecessary anxiety I would be up for that!

    1. Tracey Abrahams

      April 26, 2019 at 2:28 pm

      Put me down for some of those pills too xx

  8. Laurie

    April 24, 2019 at 8:32 pm

    I agree, we can’t feel happy all the time. There are times happiness is not appropriate. But, in general, I think of myself as a happy person. I guess there is a difference between the joy you feel that is fleeting and contentment, which is a state of mind.

  9. thisscribblermum

    April 24, 2019 at 6:21 pm

    I can understand your point of view. On the other side of the coin, if you’re happy then you are able to focus on the good things in life and be thankful for the little things. 🙂 I guess I would choose happiness if it was real happiness as opposed to a fake and misplaced happiness. #abitofeverything

  10. The Wandering Pram

    April 24, 2019 at 5:21 pm

    Those are the two I would have picked. I like a bit of melancholy, and enjoy books and films that make me cry a little bit as long as no one sees #abitofeverything

    1. hooks_and_dragons

      April 24, 2019 at 6:38 pm

      Oh yes, i love a good sob over a film, or something like DIY SOS

  11. randommusings29

    April 24, 2019 at 4:28 pm

    I like your way of thinking on this. Also, if you’re never unhappy, how can you appreciate being happy?
    Debbie
    P.S Thanks for hosting

  12. RaisieBay

    April 24, 2019 at 3:04 pm

    Oh I agree with you wholly, there has to be a balance in everything and how would you know you were happy if you never experienced sadness. As for the pills, I wouldn’t choose any of them, I take enough bloody pills anyway. Now, if there was just one pill, with zero side effects, that would make me well again. I’d take that in an instance! 🙂

    1. hooks_and_dragons

      April 24, 2019 at 6:36 pm

      Heres hoping they come up with one in the near future that dows just that xx

  13. endardoo

    April 24, 2019 at 2:38 pm

    Depends how you look at it, maybe it is possible to feel all the other emotions and still be happy? Happy might not just going around with an inane grin on your face even as the world is engulfed in war, misery and Donald Trump, but a contentment despite these things … I’d like a regular bit of that anyway. # ABitOfEverything

  14. Sarah - Craft Invaders

    April 24, 2019 at 1:13 pm

    I agree that the joy of feeling happy comes from a multitude of experiences and emotions and having happiness as a default emotion would become dull very quickly. The eat what you want pill, on the other hand, is genius and I’d happily take two of them 🙂

    1. hooks_and_dragons

      April 24, 2019 at 6:34 pm

      Oh yes, everyone should have them 😁

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